Ok. You know you're broke when you walk in the door and hope that the lights still turn on. You also know you're broke when you're pulling old tissues out of the trash as toilet paper. I hope the rationing of food can continue to be effective until I have all of my money's in my greedy little hands. That's the problem with doing odd jobs, or only working for people when they need you (ie, being a slave-sewer-monkey for the theatres of Colorado): You never get paid in an appropriate amount of time. I think that if I'm doing the work now, I should be paid now. This is unfortunatly not the case, and alas you wait around for weeks, (all the while, the first of the month is getting closer) for theatre folk to get their checkbooks in balance and pay me not only the three different paychecks I should have already seen, but my goddamn scholarship. I wouldn't be wiping my ass with boogers if that was the case.
Of course, I could have budgeted.... blah blah blah...
I SHOULD have budgeted.
But that is one of the big concepts keeping me from adulthood.
Speaking of these charmingly absent paychecks, I hate sewing. That's right, after years of sewing just because it was a job in the building I rehearsed in, I have finally gotten three different gigs sewing professionally, or rather, outside of school. Working for Ted was fine. Really long days and lots of pressure for perfection, but fine. Central City, not so fine. Just a gaggle of nerdy women who have no confidence in who they are as people, and who play power games to figure out who can be the queen of their big pile of trash, or rather, the disgusting unorganized hovel they call a costume shop. In this environment I have learned that I liked my environment at school and at Ted's, not the sewing. Now I find myself working for the Colorado Shakespeare Festival as a stitcher, again. Just when I thought I could go get a nice job at Starbucks and not have my back ache every day and my fingers bleed, I get a call from Brenda who needs help finishing shows.
Goddamnit if I can't say no to an oppurtunity even if its one that I don't want. I HATE watching my friends go off and act, while I stay locked to a machiene stitching at clothes I won't even wear. I hate the tedious nature, the stupid conversations, and in the CSF shop, the painful tension in the air, between warring costume-ladies. I don't even know who the captain of the other team is, all I know is that there is something floating in that room, so once again, I keep my mouth shut. My collegues, and equally talented to me friends get to go be onstage, singing, laughing, acting, enjoying rehearsal of all things, and I stay quiet in the corner, and try to remain as unnoticeable as possible.
Yeah, I'm pretty much done with sewing.
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