Everything and Nothing.

I feel everything and nothing. Nothing is more accurate, for this is not sadness, and elation comes in moments long and short between hazy periods of deep thought about, once again, nothing and everything. New York is in front of me, and what is there is what will always be there. I have no set plans or places, just aspirations and attempts awaiting me. In Colorado, I leave behind happiness as I have not felt in years, personally and professionally, both of which came out of left field. My heart breaks to leave these mountains, these people, this production, this role, but not this person who has floated in limbo for over a year. Not making choices and letting life happen has only proved otherwise: It's nice to think the universe will guide you to where your meant to be, but the reality is, accepting ambiguity is more akin to giving up and far less spiritual than I once believed. Fate is an idea, and destiny is a nice thought, but my humanity and tenaciousness are to be trusted more readily. That said, I must believe that with hard work, dedication to craft, and observance of the world around me, I will not only be successful in my endeavours, but led back to the people that truly matter, and love will not be lost.