Taking stock of what I have and what I haven't.

I have had a very "deep" day today. I woke up early, and showered, and since I was up so early in the cold, I kept feeling like I was getting ready to go to high school again. I can't believe I used to get up as early as I did, when I can barely make ten o'clock classes nowadays. Then, it didn't help that I was using a shampoo I haven't used since I was sixteen, and the scent memory (the only good memory I have) was taking me back in a major way. Then as I got dressed over and over again, a process similar to the dressing habits that have never left me, I decided to duck under my bed and brush the severe dust off of the pink photo album that Noel gave me for my birthday in October of my Senior year.

She gave it to me because it was common knowledge to any of my friends, especially the ones in choir, that I was on a camera kick and decided that I would just take a lot of pictures because I wouldn't ever want to forget the destined to be epic senior year. I kept a kodak disposable camera in my bag every day for the whole year, and actually continued to do so until I finally got my first digital camera for my birthday my sophmore year of college. However, that is a different story.

What resulted was one pink photo album with pages that are the perfect snapshots of one year of my life in which I was a budding photographer, as well as a budding human being. In those pictures I can see the girl I know I'm about to become; teetering on being an individual who was ready to hit the world as a full force. I can also see the innocence of being and believing in a love that was unbelievable. I wasn't quite as jaded and tired as I am now. I guess certain things are sacrificed as time goes by.

And now, being in college and looking back on the whole thing, it isn't as epic as I once believed it was. This is comforting as I'm feeling rather weary about the next stage of my life.