In these rooms.

When I am asked what my regrets are, I always reply that I have none. I honestly regret nothing I have said or done, because whatever action was taken was how I felt in the moment, and those moments have lead me to the exact place I am in right now. So instead of saying that I have a regret, I will say I am saddened by circumstances. The circumstance I find myself in right now is that I am moving out of my college apartment. I feel like my collegiate experience had two distinct periods, which is very true considering the brief foray into an English existence. I honestly feel an incredible disconnect to who I might have been before going. Not that I am particularly different in attitude or appearance, but my mind can't recall quite how I felt before. The circumstance that saddens me is not moving out of an apartment I have inhabited for over two years since returning (because that is part of moving past this college time in my life) but that I could never share it with anyone. I always wanted to wake up on a Saturday and lay in bed with someone I care about for hours, just watching the sky out the window, and listening to music while we nakedly talk about nothing. I wanted to make someone breakfast in my underwear, or take showers, or take long inhales in this place that feels more like mine than anywhere else I have ever lived. That somehow this apartment is an extension of myself, and by having someone who shared my bed and my comforts I could earnestly be close to someone. So, I am saddened by circumstances; the knowing that this will part of my heart will never been opened to someone. I wanted to fall in love in these rooms.